The tank top is here again, and it seems like it’s not going away anytime soon. So why not conform a little bit and show off those pipes you’ve been casually working on since January 1st. The tank walks a fine line between a great look for summer style and a complete moron. Don’t be a moron. Listen to us.
Timeless. Grab a solid tank with a subtle accent color on the neck and arms for your go to tank for the summer. Swell
It’s cool to go with a few bright colors here and there. Don’t over do it and look like a mexican blanket, unless your shirt is suppose to look like a Mexican blanket. Then that’s cool too, I guess. Imperial Motion
A brand logo or graphic on a solid tank is perfectly fine, but don’t mix graphics and a stripped or patterned shirt. You’ll confuse everyone around you and make babies cry. Topo Ranch Surf Rise Nike Sportswear
Fully skinned graphic tanks tend to be loud and obnoxious, but are fine for the beach or a beach bar. They definitely have their place, but don’t overdo it and wear one to a bar at night, where you will most likely be more loud and obnoxious than your shirt. Quicksilver Big Wave
For some reason brands started putting pockets on tank tops. Don’t really know what that’s about, but we’re cool with it. A contrasting color pocket its simple but bold enough to draw some attention your way. The pocket is most likely not there for utility, so try and keep everything you think would be ironically funny in a tank top pocket out of your pocket. It’s not funny. Imperial Motion
The Sports Tank
0 To Lose makes these awesome tanks which are alternative to the generic basketball jersey. They feature the same font styles and numbers as the pro teams, but with a nickname twist on the team and player. Definitely worth checking them out. 0 to Lose
Dust off your childhood jersey you couldn’t part with 15 years ago and can’t now, and try it on. If it makes it past your belt line, then you might just have a winner. If not then just ebay the same jersey and tell everyone you’ve been holding on to it for years. Anything from 1990-2002 is acceptable.
If you own one of these, then I fear its too late to save you. By now your friends and parents already hate you. Ironically enough, the only thing that can save you is a second chance at life, which contradicts your new life mantra of Only Living Once.