Now that Mad Men’s 5th season has left the surly bonds of Sunday nights, there is a Fat Betty-sized hole in our lives that can only be filled by drinking an afternoon Old Fashioned and watching Megan Draper GIFS. Also, new episodes of Breaking Bad will help. In the mean time, we might as well start guessing what is going to happen on Season 6 of AMC’s classy ode to drinking, smoking, lying, Beatles royalties, murder nightmares, co-worker boxing, commuter boxing, beans, and avoiding necessary dental procedures (Don’t be a Don. Get that “hot tooth” checked right away, people).
Here is what is likely on tap for the next season of Mad Men:
- Now that Lane Pryce is no longer with us, the agency is forced to change its name to Sterling Cooper Draper Awkward
- The agency buys the office space upstairs and, despite objections from Joan, they install a slide. Burt Cooper breaks his hip the first time he tries it.
- Pete Campbell finally gets his apartment in Manhattan, but fine print in the lease dictates that the landlord gets to punch him in the face once a week. He never fails to collect on this.
- Sally Draper’s rebellious streak continues to grow. She takes up smoking and sells baby Gene to the Ossining, New York branch of the Latin Kings.
- Megan Draper’s role in that shoe commercial leads to hundreds of casting offers, but suddenly she decides instead of being an actress she now wants to go to nursing school. Then, halfway through that she decides to write Canadian spy novels. Make up your mind, Megan.
- Don Draper starts going bald and tries to hide it by wearing a baseball cap in the office, but everyone knows. Everyone knows, Don.
- Roger Sterling takes more LSD and thinks he’s come up with the invention that will change the world forever, but once he sobers up it then just turns out to be a gum that tastes like french fries.
- Harry Crane falls victim to a pyramid scheme while trying to get some tail, then accidentally joins the Navy while trying to fix things, then is dishonorably discharged for saying something lewd about his commander’s wife. Typical Harry stuff.
- Peggy Olson gets blacklisted from every movie theater in New York City. She knows why.
- Michael Ginzburg discovers a door in the new office space that leads inside Don Draper’s head. Hilarity ensues at the company Christmas party.
I will bet you half a bottle of scotch and an entire case of Virginia Slims that at least four of these happen next season.