The 17 Types Of People At Your Super Bowl Party

Usually when a “Types Of People At Your Super Bowl Party” list is created it is rehashed from someone else’s list the previous year so the info is out of date and all the types of people are totally negative downers. This go around we wanted the list to pertain to the actually Ravens vs 49ers games and also include some positive types of people too. This angle makes ours the best, most complete list ever created. Which person are you?


The “Remember When Ray Lewis Killed A Guy?” guy

This guy won’t let it go. We all know Ray Lewis “allegedly” killed a guy ten years ago, and paid off the families to beat the charges but you don’t need to remind us every time he makes a tackle.

The Obnoxious Hater

He can’t stop talking about how Eli Manning threw for 206 yards and 5 touchdowns in the Giants’ last game of the season and if they just squeaked into the playoffs the G-Men would have demolished the competition, especially the 49ers, because everyone else sucks and the Giants got screwed.

The Beer Pong Guy

What good is a Super Bowl party if there isn’t a competition while we’re watching the competition? The guy can probably turn any flat object into a pong table.

The Gambler

Super into every aspect of of the game because he’s got 15 prop bets locked in before half time. There is no in-between with this guy. He’s either the happiest guy in the room or biting his nails wondering how to pay next months rent because Colin Kaepernick fell short of 47 1/2 rushing yards.

The Beer Snob Guy

You only have Bud Light? It tastes like piss in a can. I took a tour of this little micro brewery that makes a light lager just like Bud Light, except it’s way better.

The Outspoken Incorrect/Lying Fact Guy

Generally a guy you’ve never met who throws outlandish facts and opinions that are clearly wrong or ridiculous and then makes claims that are clearly lies like he’s second cousins with most players or was a key witness in the Ray Lewis murder trial.

The Drunk Guy

At every good Super Bowl party there is one guy who can’t handle all the excitement. Instead of pacing himself, it is easily a four hour event, he get’s after it during the pre-game show and is shitfaced by kick-off.

The “feed you until you explode” Food MVP

This person caters the entire party running around for hours on end to please everyone. Be careful because even though you’re on the verge of puking from over indulgence the food MVP still hounds you to keep eating because the next round of pulled pork will blow your mind.

The “obnoxiously loud talker during commercial breaks” Guy

He feels like it is ok to talk over all the commercials. It’s arguably the most important aspect of the Super Bowl when it comes to talking points at the work water cooler so save it for the game, buddy.

The Newly Engaged Couple

They walk into the room and every girl over the age of 23 who isn’t engaged or married gets immediately jealous. The newly engaged couple will get the majority of the attention throughout the night as people ask how he did it, let me see the ring, where are you getting married, when are you getting married, where is the bachelor party and how many strippers are we getting in Vegas.

The Boxes Organizer

Asks you if you want a box… 10 times. Will probably get frazzled when game time is approaching and buy the remaining 10 boxes that are left over with their own money.

The Crying Baby

Oh hai lil’ baby. You’re crying because this is a football party with drunk adults yelling at the top of their lungs and your parents were too cheap to pay for a babysitter? Thanks for coming out.

The Complainer

I dont have a seat, the food is cold, I can’t see the tv. Usually a girl. Usually complaining under her breath to a boyfriend or best friend.

The Awkward Friend Of A Friend

Got invited to the party and rolls up solo. Will probably find him on the parameter, possibly leaning against the wall.

The Stat Guy

Obsessed with football and has been the go to stats guy as long as you’ve known hin useful to have around.

The Useless Info Guy

We all know that Ray Lewis first sack was Jim Harbaugh, they’re brothers, Alex Smith got benched one game and Kapernick took his job, Ray Lewis murdered someone…

The Ray Lewis Bandwagon Fan

Has a been a Ravens fan for years, has a Ray Lewis jersey that isn’t more than 10 days old. Will probably have similar characteristics to Useless Info Guy and has recently posted a Ray Lewis motivational speech to Facebook.

Photo source: #1 // #2 // #3 // #4 // #5 // #6 // #7 // #8 // #9 //

More in Football

607c8424ab983a44d8ec0e0832f6d9c2

A Guide To The Wacky Prop Bets Of Super Bowl 50

I get it. Gambling is hard. Especially if you don’t understand sports. I’m sure there are people out there right now who are looking at the overs and unders for the Big Game and are having minor aneurysms. I also guarantee there are people out there right now who don’t…

deontay

Watch Recruit Deontay Anderson Skydive His College Announcement [VIDEO]

It’s National Signing Day, so that means that the top high-school players nationwide are all going to finally be revealing where they hope to play their college careers. However, it seems as Deontay Anderson set out to top the world with his announcement by creating a skydiving video in the…

NFL: Baltimore Ravens OG John Urschel
portrait
Penn State University/State College, PA
4/13/2015
X159500 TK1
Credit: Steve Boyle

The 10 Smartest Professional Athletes

A while back, we brought you the story of John Urschel who, at the time, we called the smartest player in the NFL. This was further proven when he competed for the Baltimore Ravens in the 2014-2015 while also working on a thesis about graph eigenfunctions. Well, incredibly, he just proved himself to be a whole…

super bowl 50

Here’s What Movie Trailers You Can Expect to See During Super Bowl 50

Super Bowl 50 is almost upon us and aside from it being Peyton’s last stand and Cam’s rise to elite QB status, we’re excited for the commercials. Dogs and cats will inevitably take over the majority of feel good ad spots, but what we all want to see are the…

error: