Usually when a “Types Of People At Your Super Bowl Party” list is created it is rehashed from someone else’s list the previous year so the info is out of date and all the types of people are totally negative downers. This go around we wanted the list to pertain to the actually Ravens vs 49ers games and also include some positive types of people too. This angle makes ours the best, most complete list ever created. Which person are you?
The “Remember When Ray Lewis Killed A Guy?” guy
This guy won’t let it go. We all know Ray Lewis “allegedly” killed a guy ten years ago, and paid off the families to beat the charges but you don’t need to remind us every time he makes a tackle.
The Obnoxious Hater
He can’t stop talking about how Eli Manning threw for 206 yards and 5 touchdowns in the Giants’ last game of the season and if they just squeaked into the playoffs the G-Men would have demolished the competition, especially the 49ers, because everyone else sucks and the Giants got screwed.
The Beer Pong Guy
What good is a Super Bowl party if there isn’t a competition while we’re watching the competition? The guy can probably turn any flat object into a pong table.
Super into every aspect of of the game because he’s got 15 prop bets locked in before half time. There is no in-between with this guy. He’s either the happiest guy in the room or biting his nails wondering how to pay next months rent because Colin Kaepernick fell short of 47 1/2 rushing yards.
The Beer Snob Guy
You only have Bud Light? It tastes like piss in a can. I took a tour of this little micro brewery that makes a light lager just like Bud Light, except it’s way better.
The Outspoken Incorrect/Lying Fact Guy
Generally a guy you’ve never met who throws outlandish facts and opinions that are clearly wrong or ridiculous and then makes claims that are clearly lies like he’s second cousins with most players or was a key witness in the Ray Lewis murder trial.
The Drunk Guy
At every good Super Bowl party there is one guy who can’t handle all the excitement. Instead of pacing himself, it is easily a four hour event, he get’s after it during the pre-game show and is shitfaced by kick-off.
The “feed you until you explode” Food MVP
This person caters the entire party running around for hours on end to please everyone. Be careful because even though you’re on the verge of puking from over indulgence the food MVP still hounds you to keep eating because the next round of pulled pork will blow your mind.
The “obnoxiously loud talker during commercial breaks” Guy
He feels like it is ok to talk over all the commercials. It’s arguably the most important aspect of the Super Bowl when it comes to talking points at the work water cooler so save it for the game, buddy.
The Newly Engaged Couple
They walk into the room and every girl over the age of 23 who isn’t engaged or married gets immediately jealous. The newly engaged couple will get the majority of the attention throughout the night as people ask how he did it, let me see the ring, where are you getting married, when are you getting married, where is the bachelor party and how many strippers are we getting in Vegas.
The Boxes Organizer
Asks you if you want a box… 10 times. Will probably get frazzled when game time is approaching and buy the remaining 10 boxes that are left over with their own money.
The Crying Baby
Oh hai lil’ baby. You’re crying because this is a football party with drunk adults yelling at the top of their lungs and your parents were too cheap to pay for a babysitter? Thanks for coming out.
I dont have a seat, the food is cold, I can’t see the tv. Usually a girl. Usually complaining under her breath to a boyfriend or best friend.
The Awkward Friend Of A Friend
Got invited to the party and rolls up solo. Will probably find him on the parameter, possibly leaning against the wall.
The Stat Guy
Obsessed with football and has been the go to stats guy as long as you’ve known hin useful to have around.
The Useless Info Guy
We all know that Ray Lewis first sack was Jim Harbaugh, they’re brothers, Alex Smith got benched one game and Kapernick took his job, Ray Lewis murdered someone…
The Ray Lewis Bandwagon Fan
Has a been a Ravens fan for years, has a Ray Lewis jersey that isn’t more than 10 days old. Will probably have similar characteristics to Useless Info Guy and has recently posted a Ray Lewis motivational speech to Facebook.