The All-Movie Baseball Team Line Up

Baseball movies. We love’em. You love’em. They molded our up bringings. Whether they were comedies about a young kid getting the chance of a life time or seasoned vetren dealing with the reprecussions of an aging athlete, we learned a lot from these movies and some of their names have grown to become more house hold than contemporary players in the majors today. We’ve devised a line up of the cream of the crop baseball players in movies in preparation for the ASG at Citifield.


1- Willie Mayes Hayes- CF

Batting in the one spot, we have the road runner Willie Mayes Hayes. Before Hayes started hitting for power he was the pinnacle of base stealing in ‘Major league’. He’s the guy you want leading off the team with speed and agility off the charts. “The American Express Card. Don’t steal home without it.”


2- Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez- SS

A perfect combination of speed and discipline, Benny is the guy you want in the two spot. A guy that can get on base, but also has wheels. His days on the Sandlot helped Benny to acquire all the tools you need from your two hitter.

3- Roy Hobbs- RF

Roy Hobbs was one of the top prospects in his younger days and in his twilight years still had the power to hit the clock tower at Wrigley. He can hit for power, but also put the ball where ever he wants. The ideal three-hole hitter and probably the best batter in the line up.

4- Jack Parkman- C

Parkman is the cocky and brash arm of the team. He’s not afraid of smoking cigarettes in the dugout during games and believes he is the best player on the team and that everyone else are losers by choice or birth. The guy can flat out crush the ball and he’s got that ‘look’ that drives the ladies crazy. This is a cleanup hitter most Major League teams would ogle over today.

“Crash” Davis- C

I had to throw in a ‘Bull Durham’ plug in there somewhere for movie legitimacy sake, so while Parkman has to be the starter, I have no problem benching him every now and again for Crash, the crafty veteran leader of the team.

5- Marla Hooch- 2B

Marla Hooch, a great switch-hitting slugger who doesn’t say much. She’s satisfied with her role in the ‘heart of the oder’ and was built to drive in runs. She has the power to sacrifice when needed and you won’t be getting any back talk from her once the job is done.

6- Stan “Mr. 3000″ Ross- DH

The guy has 3000 hits. Even if he was a smack talking, arrogant jerk for a majority of his carrer, Ross has the playmaking ability to get the job done in the clutch. He’ll rack up hit after hit with some power numbers to back it up. His OBP is off the charts. Had Stan Ross actually played in Major League Baseball and had 2,997 hits, he would have been 27th all-time in the Major Leagues between Roberto Clemente who had 3,000 hits and Sam Rice with 2,987.

7- Jack Elliot- 1B

Sure Jack lost a step or two during his great years with the fake Yankees, but his time with  the Nagoya Chunichi Dragons taught him the true meaning of baseball and gave him the poise and discipline to be a seasoned hitter. Jack in the seven-spot should give the team good depth as we dig in to the bottom half of the line up.

8- Ben Williams + Angels- RF

Ok, so you’re asking yourself, why Ben Williams? Because Ben Williams has angels on his side plus he was played by a young actor who goes by the name Matthew McConaughey. Even though Williams needed the assistance of the Almighty to reach superstardom, when you think about it, who doesn’t?

9- Roger Dorn- 3B

We know he’s kind of a jerk, but everyone needs an A-Rod and they play the same position. Dorn is a weasel, but get him during a contract year and he’ll give you a %110. He might even take one for the team.

Henry Rowengartner- P

This kids got the stuff. As long as his arm doesn’t crap out, this is the guy you want throwing the heat for you. He’s young and has plenty of years ahead of him. Just don’t Strasburg him.

Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn- RP


Billy Heywood- GM

Theo Epstein, before Theo Epstein was cool. With the talent on this roster and Billy’s baseball savvy mind, the future is promising.

Phil Brickma- Pitching Coach


Brickma is exactly the type of coach the clubhouse needs. Wise, full of energy, not afraid to take the young guns under his wing. His innovative Hot-Ice techniques compliment Billy Heywoods progressive baseball mentality. “The three R’s: readiness, recuperation, and conditioning!”