There is an old saying that records are meant to be broken—that or make a record so esoteric that surely nobody has previously thought of it. Well, in 2013, there were some records that were broken and some that were most likely set for the first time. And, for the sake of entertainment, RSVLTS has a list that will inspire your imagination, invoke your envy, and illicit whatever neurological twitches that causes cringing.
Visit RSVLTS.com/Yearbook13 for all our 2013 recap lists
11. Thunder Law Makes The Longest Basketball Shot Ever
Harlem Globetrotters Rookie Thunder Law broke the world record for the longest basketball shot in November. The former record, a paltry 104 feet 7 inches was shattered by Thunder’s impressive 109 feet 9 inches shot at the Phoenix Suns’ US Airways Center in Phoenix in celebration of Guinness Worlds Records Day.
10. Julia Plecher is Germany’s Best-Dressed Sprinter
A greater than 14 second 100-yard dash time is—to say the least—abysmal. But, try accomplishing the feat while wearing a pair of high heels. This M. Night Shamaylan- worthy twist to an otherwise mundane athletic feat makes the previously ordinary seem Herculean.
Record-wise, this wasn’t much of a gambit for Julia. If she failed in her sprint, then she surely would have won the Guinness World Record for “Worst Pair of Sprained Ankles”
9. Walking the Quadrupedal Tightrope
A dog from England has snagged his 15 minutes of fame by walking a tightrope. While this may seem like a stunning feat considering it is something many humans cannot do, RSVLTS thinks that the two extra feet give him an unfair advantage—making Ozzy, the dog who walked the aforementioned tightrope, the Alex Rodriguez of Guinness World Record Holders.
8. Leilani Franco Spits in the Face of Being Bipedal
Leilani Franco made it into the 2013 Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest backbend walk over the course of 20 meters. Traversing the length in roughly ten seconds, she could have alternatively qualified for the Guinness Book of World Records as “The Person In Most Dire Need of a Chiropractor”.
7. Gangam Stylin’
The Macarena of the new millennium has trumped its 1990’s counterpart. Musical artist Psy has released another single that—by record setting accounts—has proven that the inventor of Gangam Style isn’t joining the dishonorable ranks of one hit wonders.
His video “Gentleman” amassed the more views in 24 hours than any other video to ever hit the information super highway.
6. Straight Business
James Fleetham has set the Guinness World Record for most business cards collected within the span of 24 hours. With 414 more cards to add to his collection, Patrick Bateman is somewhere in the fictional world of film lunatics claiming that, “its about quality, not quantity.”
5. Robotic Dragon, What Else Needs to be Said?
The largest walking robot on Earth, this Dragon has made it into the Guinness Book under the aforementioned precedent. Alternatively, this could have been the Guinness World Record for “Most Badass Way To Ride to Work”.
4. Guinness Goes Virtual
Gamer’s gone Guinness is in full effect. Hence, Alayna Felton—a mobile gamer of apparent skill—set the Guinness World Record for Longest Run in the zombie game known as “Into the Dead”. Logging an official score of 32,858, she beat the previous high score by almost 10,000 points.
3. Lowest Possible Skater
Rohan Kokane has found a way into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the lowest limbo skater. Hovering above the ground at a height of barely 25 centimeters, Kokane traveled ten meters while stuck in that position. Presumably this is also being entered as “Traveling Ten Meters Under the Greatest Possible Amount of Discomfort”
2. Twerkin’ in Time Square
Twerking appears to be the dance fad of the early 2010’s. A simple motion, a mass of hopeful record setters amassed in Time Square to engage in an urban display gluteal Guinness acceptance.
Assembled by Big Freedia, she became a record holder when 358 twerkers entered a new chapter in the history of hineys with this feat. But somehow, it’s difficult to believe that—with the staggering amount of college students as some large state universities—that the twerking record is entirely safe.
1. Karl Heinz Hille and the Immortal Mustache
Nothing says epic like the sheer breadth of a man’s ‘stache. And, Karl Heinz Hille has earned himself a nod from Guinness for most moustache championships—adding another title to his already seemingly endless array of facial haired fame.
2013 has been a year of groundbreaking news, events and records. But as always with that there are the good, the bad and the straight up WTF. It seemed as though the internet had taken PEDs this year, with memes, GIFs and virality the strongest ever seen. With all the internet phenomena that’s occurred this year it would be a shame if no one organized and ranked every category you can think of to wrap up 2013. RSVLTS will be doing all the heavy lifting for you in the best, worst and everything else the internet had to offer this year in our RSVLTS Yearbook13. We’ll be suppling the web with dozens of year-end countdowns covering almost everything from best sports GIFs to most overhyped food crazes for our year in review. Head over to RSVLTS Yearbook13 for all the action.