Top 10 Overhyped Sports Stories of 2013 (That Didn’t Actually Matter)

With ESPN running nearly 24-hour sports news and banter-laden segments, they need to maintain a constant flow of material. Unfortunately, this means that many of the stories that they cover are tabloid-esque sensationalist time-fillers that further invoke the interest of a population who catalyze meaningless brouhaha.

A year full of soap opera-worthy drama that ESPN beat until the end of its ninth life, 2013 had no shortage of meaningless locker room tales. And, in true End of the Year fashion, RSVLTS has the best—and least meaningful—of the sporting news abyss.

10. Mark Sanchez’s Headband

Does anybody remember that guy who was the New York Jets’ starting quarterback? Well, the biggest splash he made in 2013 was via his choice of headwear. And, as the media gravitated towards it, it spiraled into a story much larger than necessary.

Seriously, the MLB is on during the summer, can’t tabloid NFL stories fall to the wayside during the offseason?

9. The Alex Rodriguez Saga

While controversial, the Alex Rodriguez debacle in New York City hardly has the same impact as it once did. Once a player who would easily join the all time greats in Cooperstown, A-Rod is now a shamed fallen star whose MLB future is in peril.

Unfortunately, the sports news stations felt necessary to remind fans of the aforementioned on a constant basis. A-Rod’s prime has long since past. Can’t there be more talk about Mike Trout, Miguel Cabrera, Bryce Harper, Andrew McCutchen or—you know—players who matter?

8. Bryce Harper vs. The Atlanta Braves

However, not all talk of the MLB’s newest batch of superstars is positive. To prove the aforementioned, look no further than Bryce Harper’s ongoing feud with the Atlanta Braves—one that took to social media.

7. Nick Saban Rumored to Leave for University of Texas

There have been stories that he was considering taking his considerable coaching talents to the University of Texas. Which—obviously—prompts a question as to why the people should care.

In Alabama, the Crimson Tide reign supreme as the most-loved sports team. But, given the “amateur” nature of collegiate sports, it shouldn’t matter.

6. Colin Kaepernick’s Questionable Choice of Headwear

Back during the summer—one that RSVLTS previously referred to as “headgarb hijinks”—Colin Kaepernick chose to wear a Miami Dolphins hat. Perhaps Kaepernick was flexing his Overhyped Sports Story powers of precognition…

5. Kevin Durant and Dwayne Wade Twitter Feud

If Twitter was involved, then the prospect of unimportance is rendered as a certainty. But, an information super highway conflict erupted when there was a dispute between Kevin Durant and Dwayne Wade about the latter’s place among basketball’s elite players.

In an overhyped conflict, it was over sports’ most overhyped term—“elite”.

4. Robinson Cano Wants $300 Million

Robinson Cano is a gifted baseballer—the best in the Yankee lineup. But, in a world with Albert Pujols, Josh Hamilton, and Alex Rodriguez; General Managers are finally starting to see the error in oversized deals.

This did not stop Mr. Cano from saying that—in order to remain in pinstripes—he wanted $300,000,000. Then—in the true media fashion—it spiraled into a massive story that was rooted in a ludicrous salary demand.

3. Greg Jennings trying to incite Aaron Rodgers

Greg Jennings signed with the Minnesota Vikings during the offseason—because he must have been tired of catching passes from one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. Instead, he wanted to catch passes from embodiment of pigskin mediocrity: Christian Ponder.

During his first few months with the Vikings, Jennings went to the media to try and antagonize his former quarterback. What erupted was a pseudo-feud between two players whose careers are going in opposite directions.

Advice to Aaron Rodgers, next time something like this happens, flash your MVP Award and put an end to senseless verbal quarreling.

2. Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito

What could have been an interesting case study into the role of hegemonic masculinity and its place in NFL locker rooms has devolved into finger pointing and every sports pundit sharing uninformed opinions.

With the facts still coming out, RSVLTS isn’t here to label either party the victim. Rather, RSVLTS is here to wonder why this story got overblown in the first place.

1. Anything Relating to Johnny Manziel

The breathtaking hypocrisy of NCAA Athletics is that—while the athletes are expected to be treated as amateurs—it gets the same level of coverage as Pro Sports. Hence, making for a questionable morality and constant stories of corruption.

As such, the media followed every facet of Johnny Manziel’s college life—leaving Manziel as not the only party in the ongoing melodrama to wish the cameramen weren’t there.

RSVLTS Yearbook13

2013 has been a year of groundbreaking news, events and records. But as always with that there are the good, the bad and the straight up WTF. It seemed as though the internet had taken PEDs this year, with memes, GIFs and virality the strongest ever seen. With all the internet phenomena that’s occurred this year it would be a shame if no one organized and ranked every category you can think of to wrap up 2013. RSVLTS will be doing all the heavy lifting for you in the best, worst and everything else the internet had to offer this year in our RSVLTS Yearbook13. We’ll be suppling the web with dozens of year-end countdowns covering almost everything from best sports GIFs to most overhyped food crazes for our year in review. Head over to RSVLTS Yearbook13 for all the action.