The Michael Pineda Guide to Pine Tar

New York Yankees Starter Michael Pineda was ejected in the second inning of Wednesday night’s game against the Boston Red Sox for having a blotch of pine tar on his neck. This was the second time in two weeks Pineda had a run-in for using the “illegal” substance. Pine Tar, although illegal for pitchers to use in the rule books, is used quite frequently, but with great precaution and discretion. It’s an unwritten rule that batters and pitchers alike play with it, but because of it’s frequent use, both teams usually keep quiet about it. What Michael Pineda did, however, was a shockingly blatant method and the Red Sox capitalized on it.

It looks as though Pineda has been having some trouble using pine tar in a discrete manor, so we thought we’d help him out for future outings on the mound. You see Michael, you’re using it all wrong. A blatant slap of tar on your neck is going to be noticeable as will a discoloration on the bottom brim of your cap, but what umps and opposing teams will never see coming is a complete image change. Some facial hair or even mascara will take you the full 9 next time you hit the mound. Of course the Yankees will have to change their clean shaven policy, but hey rules were meant to be broken, right?

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