The Dating Rules of 2015: 5 Things You Need To Know Because The Game Has Changed

Holy smokes! It’s 2015, I’m recently single and I’m in my 30s. This is going to get wild. Quick background on me: I’m Jimmy Penname and I’ve re-entered the dating pool about six months ago after chilling on the sidelines for a while with this chick I dated.

Anyways, here’s something I learned really quickly. The game has changed!!! The following are your “2015 Dating Rules”:

1. They’re all crazy.

It’s cool because I am a little crazy too but some of these chicks man, holy shit. I got stories for days and I’ve only been trying for like a short time now. But ask any guy you know in any situation and they’ll all agree.

2. Don’t do what girls say they want

We all know this one too. What do girls say they want? No seriously, ask one, ask a 100. They say things like “he’s gotta be smart, n nice, n funny! definitely funny, i love funny guys, and he’s gotta be respectful but direct cause I don’t play games” Guess what that girl just lied to you 7 times just there and she’s not even that crazy. Here’s an experiment I do frequently: go try to do show those qualities that girls say they want and see how fast the girl you try for rejects you by pulling the “trick”

3. The trick is: they show interest and remove it once you think you’re doing the right thing.

They give us their numbers but don’t answer a phone call. They say they’re available but their schedule is always booked when we try to make a plan. They say they don’t want any bullshit… Well that one i believe cuz it’s coming out of their mouths and text messages non-stop.

4. Stop giving a shit

If you haven’t stopped giving a shit about what these people who don’t know you think about you, you should try that soon. Verrrrry liberating. Bros, i got you. Seriously I do because i know this game too well. Why are you upset that she cancelled/didn’t text back/changed her mind/is too busy for you? Really, why? That’s the only thing I haven’t figured out yet.

5. Keep your head up

One thing about girls has never changed since back when my grandpa was pulling girls. They love confident men. Don’t let any failures affect your self-worth because that will show through and you’ll get into a snowball of self-loathing. Like that saying goes, “It is what it is…”. If you’re starting to google if it’s ok to date your 8th cousin, pump the brakes, re-group with a pep-talk to yourself and let the girls come to you.

I’m Jimmy Penname. Thanks for having me on the Roosevelts. I’m new to this so please give me feedback.

peaaaaace, i’m outttta here!