US Navy Apologizes For ‘Irresponsible And Immature’ Skywriting Incident

“Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…a penis?”
Thus spoke the residents of Okanogan County, Washington on Thursday, who looked up to the sky, presumably expecting birds and sunshine, only to see US Navy pilots engaging in a bit of rather ribald aerial artistic expression.

Wait a tick…

While the internet reveled in the impressive contrail cock, at least one concerned mother clutched her pearls and complained to the local media, fearing she would have to explain male anatomy to her children and ruin the thrill young women get when they discover penises on their wedding night.

The Whidbey Island Naval Air Station also didn’t appreciate the high-flying, heat-seeking moisture missile, issuing an apology for the “irresponsible and immature act” and grounding the aircrew of the EA18-G Growler responsible for the lofty love muscle.

Although the names of those involved were not revealed, we have a hunch about their identities: