Field Notes

Dunder Mifflin Sales Team, Warehouse Crew Battle on Court For Glory and Saturday Office Schedule

SCRANTON, Pa. - A “friendly little game of basketball” at Dunder Mifflin Scranton last week turned into a showdown for the ages, cut short by a controversial ending.

The drama unfolded inside the paper company’s warehouse, where regional manager Michael Scott’s sales team took the court against the branch’s warehouse crew.

The stakes were higher than ever: the losing team would have to work on Saturday.

“We’re all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team,” Scott said pregame to all of the players, before talking trash to the warehouse team: “Of course if you beat us, you’re fired.”

Scott’s joke only fired up the bigger and taller warehouse crew, who took the early lead behind Roy Anderson and Lonny “The Sea Monster” Collins.

Sales team secret weapon Jim Halpert responded with a behind-the-back dribble before driving past Anderson for a layup, even earning a cheer from Anderson’s fiancée Pam Beesley. 

Wearing a clear face mask, assistant to the team manager Dwight Schrute showed that his jumper is as smooth as his sales calls. He chipped in a solid six points.

On the other hand, Scott had a rough day on the court. 

The self-proclaimed “basketball machine” was burned often on defense and missed 100% of the shots he took. One of his free throws sailed completely over the backboard.

“What is wrong with me today?! I usually hit those!” he yelled after badly misfiring on a long range shot.

The game got chippy down the stretch. Anderson delivered an elbow to Halpert’s face, a clear “naked aggression” foul. 

Halpert got his payback on the scoreboard. His sizzling scoring run against Anderson gave the sales team the lead. 

Then came a crucial and contentious moment: Scott accidentally walked into another player, angrily calling a “flagrant personal intentional foul.”

He then called off the rest of the game and declared the sales team as winners because they were leading at the time.

The warehouse crew called that unfair, and Scott caved under the pressure. He gave the win to the warehouse, officially ending one of the more thrilling and dramatic pick-up games in recent memory.

Sources say the branch could soon face downsizing, which could prevent a highly-anticipated rematch.